Monday, December 31, 2007
EvS
Eagle vs. Shark is basically an awesome flick that is New Zealand's answer to Napoleon Dynamite, except it's about a thousand times funnier.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
So
Tony is evil in the upcoming season of 24. I suspect that his bad haircut is to blame.
There was recently a method discovered to use the Portal gun in Half-Life 2 and other Source games. It's quite uber fun, but there're broken scripts and no voices -- so Alyx just stares meaningfully at me, occasionally moving her eyebrows, and I can't proceed past A Red Letter Day.
The next game I intend to play is Morrowind. You know, there are STILL mods for it that I downloaded years and years ago, and have yet to play.
There was recently a method discovered to use the Portal gun in Half-Life 2 and other Source games. It's quite uber fun, but there're broken scripts and no voices -- so Alyx just stares meaningfully at me, occasionally moving her eyebrows, and I can't proceed past A Red Letter Day.
The next game I intend to play is Morrowind. You know, there are STILL mods for it that I downloaded years and years ago, and have yet to play.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Orange Bocks
Oh God, I love it.
WARNING UBAR SPOILERS FOLLOW
Episode Two:
Another excellent entry in the Half-Life saga. The G-Man returns and for once the bastid offers more than vague shit about his employers. Plus, there were some quite fun action sequences, such as the repelling of the attacking Antlions in the mines and the battle of the Striders near the end. When they killed off Dr. Vance, it was truly a sad moment. My one disappointment is that they didn't include a teaser for Episode Three, like they included Ep. Two's teaser with the end of Ep. 1. I'm srsly looking forward to Ep. 3, though; I can't wait to trash the Borealis and tell Dr. Mossman that her boyfriend died.
Portal:
Truly great. You run around in Aperture Sciences test facility or something and make portals. Aperture Sciences are actually an entity which competes against Black Mesa scientifically, and they owned the Borealis (look up, fool), so they're going to play a significant role in Ep. 3 most likely. (Hopefully, Gordon will get his own portal gun). And the song that plays during the end credits is too awesome.
WARNING UBAR SPOILERS FOLLOW
Episode Two:
Another excellent entry in the Half-Life saga. The G-Man returns and for once the bastid offers more than vague shit about his employers. Plus, there were some quite fun action sequences, such as the repelling of the attacking Antlions in the mines and the battle of the Striders near the end. When they killed off Dr. Vance, it was truly a sad moment. My one disappointment is that they didn't include a teaser for Episode Three, like they included Ep. Two's teaser with the end of Ep. 1. I'm srsly looking forward to Ep. 3, though; I can't wait to trash the Borealis and tell Dr. Mossman that her boyfriend died.
Portal:
Truly great. You run around in Aperture Sciences test facility or something and make portals. Aperture Sciences are actually an entity which competes against Black Mesa scientifically, and they owned the Borealis (look up, fool), so they're going to play a significant role in Ep. 3 most likely. (Hopefully, Gordon will get his own portal gun). And the song that plays during the end credits is too awesome.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
HL2
So, in preparatin for the upcoming release of Ep. 2, I've replayed HL2 and Ep. 1 over the past few days.
Thoughts:
Highway 17 is still hands-down my favorite level of either game. I always become obsessed with cleaning up the dirty streets, and dub myself the Highway 17 Beautification Committee. Litterbugs will be shot!
I'm also still fond of the Entanglement level, because the game sees fit to give you dozens of friendly turrets you can bring with you. Except into the end-level portal :'(. Srsly, on my first playthrough, I tried to drag the turret with me into the portal, and the gate closed and separated us, and it finally fell, and I was like "NOOOOOOOO!" One of the most heartbreaking moments in videogame history.
I wish there were an easy cheat to get the super gravity gun for the entire game. As it stands, the only way I know to get it is to warp to the last level of the game, acquire the SGG, and warp back to the first level and cheat yourself the gravity gun, which will be rendered super or something.
My favorite parts in Ep. 1 are the last bit in the zombie area where it's uber dark (whee survival horror!) and the escort mission. Of course, playing through it the second time I made heavy use of the box of infinite rockets, so it was slightly unfair to the Combine. I was also fond of the dark reactor core, since I could throw people's bodies into it (hooray for morbidity!)
Thoughts:
Highway 17 is still hands-down my favorite level of either game. I always become obsessed with cleaning up the dirty streets, and dub myself the Highway 17 Beautification Committee. Litterbugs will be shot!
I'm also still fond of the Entanglement level, because the game sees fit to give you dozens of friendly turrets you can bring with you. Except into the end-level portal :'(. Srsly, on my first playthrough, I tried to drag the turret with me into the portal, and the gate closed and separated us, and it finally fell, and I was like "NOOOOOOOO!" One of the most heartbreaking moments in videogame history.
I wish there were an easy cheat to get the super gravity gun for the entire game. As it stands, the only way I know to get it is to warp to the last level of the game, acquire the SGG, and warp back to the first level and cheat yourself the gravity gun, which will be rendered super or something.
My favorite parts in Ep. 1 are the last bit in the zombie area where it's uber dark (whee survival horror!) and the escort mission. Of course, playing through it the second time I made heavy use of the box of infinite rockets, so it was slightly unfair to the Combine. I was also fond of the dark reactor core, since I could throw people's bodies into it (hooray for morbidity!)
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Cavemen and other etc.
So, last night's Cavemen was awesome. It looks like they took out the 'dumb one' from the pilot, which is awesome. Double awesome: They left in the smart one. And they also took out the stereotypes traditionally associated with black people, putting in stereotypes which actually make sense for Neanderthals. (Well, as much sense as stereotypes can make, at least).
Monday's Heroes was rad as well. Except for CLAIRE CUTTING OFF HER TOE OH GOD.
Journeyman was also good. One of my favorite new shows of the season. (With Life being the other).
I'm also liking Bionic Womangst, but only because it's swimming in angst. And by swimming, I mean the polar angst caps have melted, flooding the Earth.
Monday's Heroes was rad as well. Except for CLAIRE CUTTING OFF HER TOE OH GOD.
Journeyman was also good. One of my favorite new shows of the season. (With Life being the other).
I'm also liking Bionic Womangst, but only because it's swimming in angst. And by swimming, I mean the polar angst caps have melted, flooding the Earth.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Heroes & Journeyman premiere
Mm, I luvved both shows.
Favorite Heroes moments:
One shot early on of Claire and Mr. Bennet standing next to one another made it appear as if Claire were about 4 feet tall.
Takezo Kensei is a crazy gaijin! Most significant plot twist of the premiere.
Overall, the premiere raised a lot more questions than it answered. Why did Matt's marriage break up? Was it because he and Suresh are now 'partners'? How did Nathan survive being at ground zero of a nuclear fuck fireball? Did Peter remember that HE can fly at the last minute?
Also, woot at Ando being there. He's totally Samwise.
Meanwhile, Journeyman had its own fair share of awesome moments.
Does it count as cheating if you do it in the past?
I love the trickeroo of impersonating himself in the past.
And I really love the trickeroo of burying the ring under the brick patio before the patio was built.
Favorite Heroes moments:
One shot early on of Claire and Mr. Bennet standing next to one another made it appear as if Claire were about 4 feet tall.
Takezo Kensei is a crazy gaijin! Most significant plot twist of the premiere.
Overall, the premiere raised a lot more questions than it answered. Why did Matt's marriage break up? Was it because he and Suresh are now 'partners'? How did Nathan survive being at ground zero of a nuclear fuck fireball? Did Peter remember that HE can fly at the last minute?
Also, woot at Ando being there. He's totally Samwise.
Meanwhile, Journeyman had its own fair share of awesome moments.
Does it count as cheating if you do it in the past?
I love the trickeroo of impersonating himself in the past.
And I really love the trickeroo of burying the ring under the brick patio before the patio was built.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Valve hires convicts and retards to operate Steam's website
Not convicts or retards.
Convicts and retards.
Both.
See, my plight begins with Steam: It's mysteriously broken. I chalk it up to the innumerable bugs cropping up in my copy of Vista (something I will talk about another time). It's been broken for a few months, but I haven't been bothered to look into it since, for the past few months, the release of Episode Two hasn't been imminent.
So, sometime last week, I registered at Steam Support and submitted my complaint, detailing the error message which pops up whenever I try to run Steam (unknown software exception, whatever the hell that means). And, well, the bastards still haven't gotten around to looking at it. Two possible explanations: Steam is so fucked up that they've been doing tech support for absolutely everybody who uses it, or they sit around all day jacking off to Alyx hentai.
On the advice of a colleague, I decide to register at the forums and ask my question there. Unfortunately, whenever I log in, it goes on to inform me that I MUST BE LOGGED IN TO VIEW THAT PAGE. Haha! Great fun! Fortunately, things work fine in Internet Explorer (I use Opera, superior to IE and its corporateness and Firefox and its fadness). Well, not fine exactly, since the forums don't have a search feature! Brilliant! How am I supposed to ascertain if anybody else has had my problem, apart from sifting through 60 pages of threads?
In conclusion, Steam is full of shit because it has its head stuck up its ass.
Convicts and retards.
Both.
See, my plight begins with Steam: It's mysteriously broken. I chalk it up to the innumerable bugs cropping up in my copy of Vista (something I will talk about another time). It's been broken for a few months, but I haven't been bothered to look into it since, for the past few months, the release of Episode Two hasn't been imminent.
So, sometime last week, I registered at Steam Support and submitted my complaint, detailing the error message which pops up whenever I try to run Steam (unknown software exception, whatever the hell that means). And, well, the bastards still haven't gotten around to looking at it. Two possible explanations: Steam is so fucked up that they've been doing tech support for absolutely everybody who uses it, or they sit around all day jacking off to Alyx hentai.
On the advice of a colleague, I decide to register at the forums and ask my question there. Unfortunately, whenever I log in, it goes on to inform me that I MUST BE LOGGED IN TO VIEW THAT PAGE. Haha! Great fun! Fortunately, things work fine in Internet Explorer (I use Opera, superior to IE and its corporateness and Firefox and its fadness). Well, not fine exactly, since the forums don't have a search feature! Brilliant! How am I supposed to ascertain if anybody else has had my problem, apart from sifting through 60 pages of threads?
In conclusion, Steam is full of shit because it has its head stuck up its ass.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Alpha Centauri
It's just as fun as the newer entries in the Civ series, but in space. You can see a lot of the ideas that went on to be implemented in Civ3 and 4.
My favorite part of AC are the unique leader personalities. Lal is my favorite personality-wise, because he is a crazy motherfucker. My favorite faction to play as, though, would be University, as I heart researching everybody into the dust and then pounding them into dust. (As usual).
The unit customization is something I haven't yet seen in any other Civ game. It rules a bunch, I must say. When I've maxed out all techs and I have the space elevator, I like to create a unit with maximum attack, defense, drop jets, and an uber fast reactor, and call it the Juggernaut. With it, I can strike any land-bound city in the game (except when it has air defenses, even when there's no damn airplanes in the city). I usually only need one unit to take the city.
I rule.
My favorite part of AC are the unique leader personalities. Lal is my favorite personality-wise, because he is a crazy motherfucker. My favorite faction to play as, though, would be University, as I heart researching everybody into the dust and then pounding them into dust. (As usual).
The unit customization is something I haven't yet seen in any other Civ game. It rules a bunch, I must say. When I've maxed out all techs and I have the space elevator, I like to create a unit with maximum attack, defense, drop jets, and an uber fast reactor, and call it the Juggernaut. With it, I can strike any land-bound city in the game (except when it has air defenses, even when there's no damn airplanes in the city). I usually only need one unit to take the city.
I rule.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Holy crap Dragon Wars looks awesome
http://www.dragon-wars.com/
Basically, it's Reign of Fire, minus the retarded.
And for once, it's Los Angeles getting its shit ruined, not New York.
Basically, it's Reign of Fire, minus the retarded.
And for once, it's Los Angeles getting its shit ruined, not New York.
Monday, August 20, 2007
I adore Facade
http://www.interactivestory.net/
I just played through as a guy who had to go to the bathroom. I kept asking Grace and Trip where their bathroom was, but the assholes kept ignoring me and focusing on their lame marital problems.
Grace and Trip (mostly Trip, though) are really self-absorbed assholes.
Other games I've been playing lately:
Hitman 2 - If they cut out uber-frustrating shit like the save-game limit and boring/difficult as fuck as fuck levels like the lead-ups to the castle in Japan, this would have been a great game. I've heard later entries in the series are better, though. Also stumbled upon an amusing message: "Guards are looking for a suspicious clone."
Alpha Centauri - Not quite as fun as Civ 3 or 4, since I can't totally conquer the other civs tech-wise and then steamroll over them with advanced units.
Europa 1400: The Guild - Hooray for killing my wife in a duel to gain control of her chain of perfumeries!
I just played through as a guy who had to go to the bathroom. I kept asking Grace and Trip where their bathroom was, but the assholes kept ignoring me and focusing on their lame marital problems.
Grace and Trip (mostly Trip, though) are really self-absorbed assholes.
Other games I've been playing lately:
Hitman 2 - If they cut out uber-frustrating shit like the save-game limit and boring/difficult as fuck as fuck levels like the lead-ups to the castle in Japan, this would have been a great game. I've heard later entries in the series are better, though. Also stumbled upon an amusing message: "Guards are looking for a suspicious clone."
Alpha Centauri - Not quite as fun as Civ 3 or 4, since I can't totally conquer the other civs tech-wise and then steamroll over them with advanced units.
Europa 1400: The Guild - Hooray for killing my wife in a duel to gain control of her chain of perfumeries!
Friday, August 10, 2007
Shtuff I've been up to lately:
I played Postal 2. It's quite fun/awesome, basically GTA without cars. (Drivable cars, anyway). The expansion mostly sucked, though (except for the zombies).
I read Prey, Michael Crichton's novel on the terrors of nanites. While nanites could indeed pwn Earth, I doubt they'd rip off Invasion of the Body Snatchers and start imitating people whilst putting on a sinister conspiratorial personality.
I read Alas, Babylon. Shexy shtuff. It probably would have been a lot more depressing if the nuclear winter theory had been around when it was written.
Oh, and I don't know if I mentioned it, but I got a shweet new monitor, 19" widescreen LCD HDTV.
Man, I have about a thousand games that I own that I have yet to play. I ought to get on it sometime soon.
I played Postal 2. It's quite fun/awesome, basically GTA without cars. (Drivable cars, anyway). The expansion mostly sucked, though (except for the zombies).
I read Prey, Michael Crichton's novel on the terrors of nanites. While nanites could indeed pwn Earth, I doubt they'd rip off Invasion of the Body Snatchers and start imitating people whilst putting on a sinister conspiratorial personality.
I read Alas, Babylon. Shexy shtuff. It probably would have been a lot more depressing if the nuclear winter theory had been around when it was written.
Oh, and I don't know if I mentioned it, but I got a shweet new monitor, 19" widescreen LCD HDTV.
Man, I have about a thousand games that I own that I have yet to play. I ought to get on it sometime soon.
Monday, July 23, 2007
My Uberly Uberly Spoilerrific Thoughts on Deathly Hallows
SRSLY, DO NOT READ SPOILERS FOLLOW
1. Hermione was like, "You taste better than Crabbe and Goyle, Harry." (She's referring to his penis).
2. Hory clap, they killed Hedwig and Mad-Eye Moody like right off the bat.
3. The second fourth of the book was boring as hell, as it mainly consisted of Harry bumbling around in the forest and occasionally falling into a trap.
4. A shame about Tonks, and Lupin, and Fred.
5. "The battle for Helms Deep is over. The Battle for Hogwarts has just begun." (And was awesome).
6. I think Ollivander molested Luna while they were both in captivity.
7. Snape's revelation in his memories was uber sad. I seriously misted up.
8. I also misted up when Dobby died.
9. At first, I wasn't part of the camp that said "Harry is a Horcrux!" because that would have been fucking stupid. But I guess JK managed to not screw it up.
10. Peeves fought the Death Eaters. Whee!
11. Yay! Percy luvs his family again!
12. In this book, Voldemort was like a combination of Agent Smith and Darth Vader (minus the wussy Anakin part).
13. Neville, naturally, kicked ass. He slew the final Horcrux, assailed the Death Eaters with plants, and proceeded to become a teacher in Hogwarts, so that he could repeatedly sex up Moaning Myrtle. (HEY IT COULD HAPPEN).
14. I was sad that the sentient car never showed up again.
15. I totally guessed that the eye Harry was seeing was Dumbledore's brother.
16. Oh! Speaking of Dumbledore! I love how the book totally admitted that he was a huge jerk and a complete failure.
17. I noticed a recurring theme was Harry's shit getting busted -- the Firebolt, Hedwig, the Mirror of Angst...srsly a bad theme.
18. I liked how he and Dudley had gay sex in the second chapter.
19. It would have been nice if Voldemort chose the remorse option.
20. When Ron and Hermoine kissed, I was like "FUCKING FINALLY."
1. Hermione was like, "You taste better than Crabbe and Goyle, Harry." (She's referring to his penis).
2. Hory clap, they killed Hedwig and Mad-Eye Moody like right off the bat.
3. The second fourth of the book was boring as hell, as it mainly consisted of Harry bumbling around in the forest and occasionally falling into a trap.
4. A shame about Tonks, and Lupin, and Fred.
5. "The battle for Helms Deep is over. The Battle for Hogwarts has just begun." (And was awesome).
6. I think Ollivander molested Luna while they were both in captivity.
7. Snape's revelation in his memories was uber sad. I seriously misted up.
8. I also misted up when Dobby died.
9. At first, I wasn't part of the camp that said "Harry is a Horcrux!" because that would have been fucking stupid. But I guess JK managed to not screw it up.
10. Peeves fought the Death Eaters. Whee!
11. Yay! Percy luvs his family again!
12. In this book, Voldemort was like a combination of Agent Smith and Darth Vader (minus the wussy Anakin part).
13. Neville, naturally, kicked ass. He slew the final Horcrux, assailed the Death Eaters with plants, and proceeded to become a teacher in Hogwarts, so that he could repeatedly sex up Moaning Myrtle. (HEY IT COULD HAPPEN).
14. I was sad that the sentient car never showed up again.
15. I totally guessed that the eye Harry was seeing was Dumbledore's brother.
16. Oh! Speaking of Dumbledore! I love how the book totally admitted that he was a huge jerk and a complete failure.
17. I noticed a recurring theme was Harry's shit getting busted -- the Firebolt, Hedwig, the Mirror of Angst...srsly a bad theme.
18. I liked how he and Dudley had gay sex in the second chapter.
19. It would have been nice if Voldemort chose the remorse option.
20. When Ron and Hermoine kissed, I was like "FUCKING FINALLY."
Friday, July 20, 2007
I've started a new deadlog!
http://survival-humor.livejournal.com/
(This is the part where I'd tell what a deadlog is, but all one or two of my readers already know, so meh).
(This is the part where I'd tell what a deadlog is, but all one or two of my readers already know, so meh).
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Magically Delicious
I just sent this letter to General Mills:
I would like to know if your company ever intends to produce a 'marshmallows only' version of Lucky Charms. I enjoy Lucky Charms very much, but the non-marshmallow bits have declared war on deliciousness. Even if you do not currently plan to create a marshmallows-only version of Lucky Charms, please consider it. I do not have nearly enough condensed sugar in my life.
It started out totally serious, but then it turned into a satire on how insanely unhealthy my stupid idea is.
I'd still totally buy it, though.
I would like to know if your company ever intends to produce a 'marshmallows only' version of Lucky Charms. I enjoy Lucky Charms very much, but the non-marshmallow bits have declared war on deliciousness. Even if you do not currently plan to create a marshmallows-only version of Lucky Charms, please consider it. I do not have nearly enough condensed sugar in my life.
It started out totally serious, but then it turned into a satire on how insanely unhealthy my stupid idea is.
I'd still totally buy it, though.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Haha wow
Apparently, Vanilla Ice lives in Monroe, Michigan.
Did I ever mention that I'm basically ten minutes away from there?
I almost want to meet him to say something asinine.
Did I ever mention that I'm basically ten minutes away from there?
I almost want to meet him to say something asinine.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Awesome Alert
1-18-08: http://www.apple.com/trailers/paramount/11808/
It looks like an awesome combination of The Blair Witch Project and Godzilla. I can't freaking wait.
Oh also my knee bent sideways yesterday and I'll be trying to see a doctor about that later today.
It looks like an awesome combination of The Blair Witch Project and Godzilla. I can't freaking wait.
Oh also my knee bent sideways yesterday and I'll be trying to see a doctor about that later today.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Oh also
I recently finished watching 24 season 2 for the first time since it aired (on DVD), and it was just as rad as I remembered.
Then I started watching season 3, and OH MY GOD SYLAR IS IN S3! Also, I luv how Jack was all like "RARGH FUCK HEROIN" at the end of the first ep.
Then I started watching season 3, and OH MY GOD SYLAR IS IN S3! Also, I luv how Jack was all like "RARGH FUCK HEROIN" at the end of the first ep.
Wahey, free gasmask time!
http://www.burningtruth.com/?friend=TBmsGp
I demand you folks click that link and register at that site so I can eventually get a free gasmask.
Gasmasks are important for not dying from gas. I don't want to die!
Save me!
I demand you folks click that link and register at that site so I can eventually get a free gasmask.
Gasmasks are important for not dying from gas. I don't want to die!
Save me!
Saturday, June 16, 2007
More HP tidbits I forgot
I really loved the mirror of angst Harry unwrapped at the end of Order of the Penix.
Say, I wonder if that rat guy will be in Book 7.
(I thought I had more. Eh, I'll edit this post as I recall).
Say, I wonder if that rat guy will be in Book 7.
(I thought I had more. Eh, I'll edit this post as I recall).
Harry Potter and the Franchise of Cash
So, I've finally finished my secret project to read all the Harry Potter books and assign cutesy names to them based on title or significant plot points. My assessments are as follows
Harry Potter and the Outsourcer's Stone
The first volume in the series wasn't particularly excellent; I figured that Snape wouldn't be the bad guy since it was too damn obvious. (Oh, by the way, I started reading the series long after Book Six came out and had witnessed mass spoilings of the critical event in that book, so that may have also lended some proof that Snape wasn't evil in this novel). The book also demonstrated the vast subtlety of JK Rowling, with the Mirror of Erised. I mean fuck, does JK take the reader to be somewhat dumber than the average rock with Down's syndrome?
The highlight, though, was when Neville pulled out his Gandalf impersonation. "You shall not pass!" (Too bad Harry and the crew pwned him instantly). But yeah, Neville rocks, as I would be proven later on.
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Seacrest
Again, a volume not particularly fraught with awesomeness; however, it is the book in which we are introduced to Moaning Myrtle, a character who in time rises to awesome prominence. Also, there's some boring shit about Hagrid's past and stuff, and Harry pwns a basilisk, but I didn't really give a crap.
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Assraping
I was Siriusly bored by this book. No fucking surprises again.
Hm. Unless this was the book with the flying, sentient car. If not (meaning the car was in the previous book), then shit. (I'm rather fond of the car).
Harry Potter and the Phantom Menace
Okay, this book was truly damn awesome. The plot most closely resembles Phantom Menace, but I got a definite Fellowship of the Ring vibe too, especially closer towards the end. And for once, JK actually managed to surprise me. I hadn't figured Moody to be an impostor.
But by far the greatest part of the novel was when Moaning Myrtle revealed how much of a fucking pervert she was and spied on Harry in the bath.
Fucking.
Awesome.
Harry Potter and the Empire Strikes Back
May God damn JK for the first half of the book.
Cuntbridge's brand of evil was boring, predictable, and petty. It was about as entertaining as a tale of an orderly who tortured his patients for no damn reason.
But then JK wrote the second half of the book, and I suppose God doesn't have to damn her too much.
The most awesomest part was when Fred and George made their escape, all the while me humming the Indiana Jones music, imagining George triumphantly shaing his fedora into the air as the natives fire arrows futilely at him.
And the Empire Strikes Back part refers to how Voldemort lured Harry to the Ministry of Bespin with the implied threat towards Sirius. Too bad Sirius fell into a pit of death or whatever instead of a pit of carbonite.
Best part: Neville was almost the star of the series. Damn fate.
Harry Potter and the X-Men 3
Ah, quite a confusing title, eh? Well, it refers to the part about how Dumbledore revealing his recruitment of Voldemort into Hogwarts, and culminating in his near-death at Malfoy's hand until his actual death at Snape's hand.
Secret: Dumbledore's last words to Malfoy were "Don't let it control you."
And of course there are several other parallels:
Dumbledore: Head of Hogwarts
Xavier: Head of Xavier's School for Mutants
Dumbledore: Buried on the grounds of his school
Xavier: Ditto
Of course, this makes Voldemort Jean Grey, and that means Harry will confess his love for the Dark Lord when they have their final encounter. And billions of fanfic authors will go nuts.
Other items of note:
Harry + Ginny = Meh, saw it coming.
Harry + Ron = Er, I actually meant to type
Ron + Hermoine = Fuck, I haven't seen this much romantic tension since Ross and Rachel.
(PS: I also almost mistakenly typed Harry and Hermoine, and Ron and Ginny. Boy, wouldn't that be fun.)
Neville + Moaning Myrtle = Oh, if only.
Malfoy + Tears = Fag
Dumbledore - Life = I could only think of the ragdoll physics in Oblivion when I imagined Dumbledore soaring off the Astronomy Tower. And that makes me a terrible person.
Harry + Snape (not in a fag way) = I think Snape is going to be the Vader character. He's going to throw Voldemort into the reactor chute at the last minute.
Harry: But I'm supposed to save you.
Snape: You already have. Five points from Gryffindor for not already realizing that.
(Okay, I guess from that it would be a gay thing).
My hopes for Harry Potter and the Last Crusade:
Neville + Moaning Myrtle + Sentient Car awesomeness
Ginny ends up being a Horcrux (so I guess we'll have the "I love you" stab to death scene after all).
Voldemort turns Dumbledore into an Inferni/Horcrux, and Harry must fuck Dumbledore's body to pieces to destroy it.
Fred and George vs. Voldemort.
Neville vs. Voldemort. (If Neville turns evil to do this, that would be acceptable).
Voldemort gets killed by Uncle Vernon with a gun. (This would be so fucking hilarious).
Dudley was Voldemort all along.
RAB is actually short for Rabbi, and a team of Mossad agents takes out Voldemort.
Moaning Myrtle gets pregnant from Draco.
There's an epilogue at the end of the book that rips off the ending of every Dragnet shows (Voldemort was sentenced to ten years in Azkaban State Penitentiary).
Harry Potter converts to Christianity and beats Voldemort (and every other wizard) with the help of Jack Chick.
The last chapter consists only of "Thanks for making me rich, suckers."
Harry finds out that the World Trade Center is one of the Horcruxes (remember, the books are supposed to take place from 1990-1997 or something. And Book 7 doesn't necessarily have to take place only within one year).
Filch gets his wish and whips a student -- and the student likes it.
The Sorting Hat starts cursing and puts absolutely everyone into Slytherin house.
Harry drinks Polyjuice potion that's supposed to make the drinker look like Harry, and there's a scene that resembles the one from Being John Malkovich when Malkovich went into his own portal.
Harry gets the help of the snake he released all the way in the first book.
Voldemort realizes that all you need is love, and quits the evil job.
Harry Potter and the Outsourcer's Stone
The first volume in the series wasn't particularly excellent; I figured that Snape wouldn't be the bad guy since it was too damn obvious. (Oh, by the way, I started reading the series long after Book Six came out and had witnessed mass spoilings of the critical event in that book, so that may have also lended some proof that Snape wasn't evil in this novel). The book also demonstrated the vast subtlety of JK Rowling, with the Mirror of Erised. I mean fuck, does JK take the reader to be somewhat dumber than the average rock with Down's syndrome?
The highlight, though, was when Neville pulled out his Gandalf impersonation. "You shall not pass!" (Too bad Harry and the crew pwned him instantly). But yeah, Neville rocks, as I would be proven later on.
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Seacrest
Again, a volume not particularly fraught with awesomeness; however, it is the book in which we are introduced to Moaning Myrtle, a character who in time rises to awesome prominence. Also, there's some boring shit about Hagrid's past and stuff, and Harry pwns a basilisk, but I didn't really give a crap.
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Assraping
I was Siriusly bored by this book. No fucking surprises again.
Hm. Unless this was the book with the flying, sentient car. If not (meaning the car was in the previous book), then shit. (I'm rather fond of the car).
Harry Potter and the Phantom Menace
Okay, this book was truly damn awesome. The plot most closely resembles Phantom Menace, but I got a definite Fellowship of the Ring vibe too, especially closer towards the end. And for once, JK actually managed to surprise me. I hadn't figured Moody to be an impostor.
But by far the greatest part of the novel was when Moaning Myrtle revealed how much of a fucking pervert she was and spied on Harry in the bath.
Fucking.
Awesome.
Harry Potter and the Empire Strikes Back
May God damn JK for the first half of the book.
Cuntbridge's brand of evil was boring, predictable, and petty. It was about as entertaining as a tale of an orderly who tortured his patients for no damn reason.
But then JK wrote the second half of the book, and I suppose God doesn't have to damn her too much.
The most awesomest part was when Fred and George made their escape, all the while me humming the Indiana Jones music, imagining George triumphantly shaing his fedora into the air as the natives fire arrows futilely at him.
And the Empire Strikes Back part refers to how Voldemort lured Harry to the Ministry of Bespin with the implied threat towards Sirius. Too bad Sirius fell into a pit of death or whatever instead of a pit of carbonite.
Best part: Neville was almost the star of the series. Damn fate.
Harry Potter and the X-Men 3
Ah, quite a confusing title, eh? Well, it refers to the part about how Dumbledore revealing his recruitment of Voldemort into Hogwarts, and culminating in his near-death at Malfoy's hand until his actual death at Snape's hand.
Secret: Dumbledore's last words to Malfoy were "Don't let it control you."
And of course there are several other parallels:
Dumbledore: Head of Hogwarts
Xavier: Head of Xavier's School for Mutants
Dumbledore: Buried on the grounds of his school
Xavier: Ditto
Of course, this makes Voldemort Jean Grey, and that means Harry will confess his love for the Dark Lord when they have their final encounter. And billions of fanfic authors will go nuts.
Other items of note:
Harry + Ginny = Meh, saw it coming.
Harry + Ron = Er, I actually meant to type
Ron + Hermoine = Fuck, I haven't seen this much romantic tension since Ross and Rachel.
(PS: I also almost mistakenly typed Harry and Hermoine, and Ron and Ginny. Boy, wouldn't that be fun.)
Neville + Moaning Myrtle = Oh, if only.
Malfoy + Tears = Fag
Dumbledore - Life = I could only think of the ragdoll physics in Oblivion when I imagined Dumbledore soaring off the Astronomy Tower. And that makes me a terrible person.
Harry + Snape (not in a fag way) = I think Snape is going to be the Vader character. He's going to throw Voldemort into the reactor chute at the last minute.
Harry: But I'm supposed to save you.
Snape: You already have. Five points from Gryffindor for not already realizing that.
(Okay, I guess from that it would be a gay thing).
My hopes for Harry Potter and the Last Crusade:
Neville + Moaning Myrtle + Sentient Car awesomeness
Ginny ends up being a Horcrux (so I guess we'll have the "I love you" stab to death scene after all).
Voldemort turns Dumbledore into an Inferni/Horcrux, and Harry must fuck Dumbledore's body to pieces to destroy it.
Fred and George vs. Voldemort.
Neville vs. Voldemort. (If Neville turns evil to do this, that would be acceptable).
Voldemort gets killed by Uncle Vernon with a gun. (This would be so fucking hilarious).
Dudley was Voldemort all along.
RAB is actually short for Rabbi, and a team of Mossad agents takes out Voldemort.
Moaning Myrtle gets pregnant from Draco.
There's an epilogue at the end of the book that rips off the ending of every Dragnet shows (Voldemort was sentenced to ten years in Azkaban State Penitentiary).
Harry Potter converts to Christianity and beats Voldemort (and every other wizard) with the help of Jack Chick.
The last chapter consists only of "Thanks for making me rich, suckers."
Harry finds out that the World Trade Center is one of the Horcruxes (remember, the books are supposed to take place from 1990-1997 or something. And Book 7 doesn't necessarily have to take place only within one year).
Filch gets his wish and whips a student -- and the student likes it.
The Sorting Hat starts cursing and puts absolutely everyone into Slytherin house.
Harry drinks Polyjuice potion that's supposed to make the drinker look like Harry, and there's a scene that resembles the one from Being John Malkovich when Malkovich went into his own portal.
Harry gets the help of the snake he released all the way in the first book.
Voldemort realizes that all you need is love, and quits the evil job.
Saturday, June 2, 2007
Monday, May 28, 2007
Current and future stuff
So, I finally kicked the Oblivion habit long enough to install Resident Evil 4. As a first-time player, I must say it's the best of the series. 2 remains my personal favorite, though.
I should probably install ArmA: Combat Operations next, but that Oblivion itch is still there, in the back of my mind, and I've also been thinking about trying out Neverwinter Nights again.
My first time through NWN, I got through the first chapter and just quit out of boredom. It plays identically to KOTOR, except without all the rad Star Wars stuff.
I should get back to playing Gothic 3 again someday, as well. When I first got it I absolutely loved it, I played it for 50 hours, and quit out of exhaustion. It was just too epic for me.
I should probably install ArmA: Combat Operations next, but that Oblivion itch is still there, in the back of my mind, and I've also been thinking about trying out Neverwinter Nights again.
My first time through NWN, I got through the first chapter and just quit out of boredom. It plays identically to KOTOR, except without all the rad Star Wars stuff.
I should get back to playing Gothic 3 again someday, as well. When I first got it I absolutely loved it, I played it for 50 hours, and quit out of exhaustion. It was just too epic for me.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
More controversy!
Star Control II: The Ur-Quan Masters sucks.
When I first heard of it, it sounded awesome. When I first played it, I discovered it was awesome.
I decided to explore each planet. Of each star. This stopped being fun shortly after I realized the merchant dudes had no more tech or info or anything of use to sell to me. I still explored each planet, though, collecting ore and lifeforms and selling them to my starbase and the merchant dudes. I also kept a faint hope that someday I'd find something unique or interesting. Out of all the planets I managed to explore via this method, I found only one interesting anomaly: A planet encapsulated like Earth was. And there was no method of interaction with this planet; I don't even think it had a starbase like Earth.
Another item which eventually turned sour was interacting with alien races. They would either be outright hostile, or off-the-wall wacky and otherwise unhelpful. Except for the nice gents who sent out those crystal ships and lived on a gas giant; I always checked each gas giant after that in the hope that I'd find some kindred spirits for them to be friends with. But what I'm saying is, it would have been nice to have had somebody other than the merchant dudes to trade with.
Combat was also worthless. The only ship worth a damn was the mothership, and only then when it was fully pimped out. With a pimped-out mothership and a little skill, you always dominated except against the Ur-Quan and their cousins, the Who-Ever.
Which brings me to the killing blow. I noticed, as my exploration of the planets dragged on, that the spheres of influence of the various alien races I had met were vanishing one-by-one. I visited the homeworld of the one planet that had three separate sentient species, and all the cities were razed and burning. Puzzled, I turn to a FAQ to see what was happening.
It would have been damn fucking nice of the game to not have a fucking time limit.
Seriously, what the FUCK. The developers of the game put in umpteen million stars, and the game ENDS before you can visit even a tenth of them. That's like building a skyscraper, and the elevator only stops at the lobby and the top floor. It was honestly the most offended I'd ever been by a game.
When I first heard of it, it sounded awesome. When I first played it, I discovered it was awesome.
I decided to explore each planet. Of each star. This stopped being fun shortly after I realized the merchant dudes had no more tech or info or anything of use to sell to me. I still explored each planet, though, collecting ore and lifeforms and selling them to my starbase and the merchant dudes. I also kept a faint hope that someday I'd find something unique or interesting. Out of all the planets I managed to explore via this method, I found only one interesting anomaly: A planet encapsulated like Earth was. And there was no method of interaction with this planet; I don't even think it had a starbase like Earth.
Another item which eventually turned sour was interacting with alien races. They would either be outright hostile, or off-the-wall wacky and otherwise unhelpful. Except for the nice gents who sent out those crystal ships and lived on a gas giant; I always checked each gas giant after that in the hope that I'd find some kindred spirits for them to be friends with. But what I'm saying is, it would have been nice to have had somebody other than the merchant dudes to trade with.
Combat was also worthless. The only ship worth a damn was the mothership, and only then when it was fully pimped out. With a pimped-out mothership and a little skill, you always dominated except against the Ur-Quan and their cousins, the Who-Ever.
Which brings me to the killing blow. I noticed, as my exploration of the planets dragged on, that the spheres of influence of the various alien races I had met were vanishing one-by-one. I visited the homeworld of the one planet that had three separate sentient species, and all the cities were razed and burning. Puzzled, I turn to a FAQ to see what was happening.
It would have been damn fucking nice of the game to not have a fucking time limit.
Seriously, what the FUCK. The developers of the game put in umpteen million stars, and the game ENDS before you can visit even a tenth of them. That's like building a skyscraper, and the elevator only stops at the lobby and the top floor. It was honestly the most offended I'd ever been by a game.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Saturday, May 12, 2007
I think I'm addicted to pudding
Chocolate mud pie and banana cream pie flavors are my favorite.
I've been playing Oblivion a lot lately. My mage character has risen to the top of the Mage's Guild and completed all but one of the Daedric Shrine quests. She's also still pretty early in the Main Quest, and hasn't ventured into Shivering Isles yet, although I intend to do so soon.
I think I may actually have her join every faction in the game. Thieves Guild and Dark Brotherhood, for sure.
I've also bought the first Ghost Recon game because it was like $10 and I haven't heard anything terrible about it. (It's the PC version, if it matters). I haven't played it yet, though, because of Oblivion.
I also purchased 1634: The Baltic War. It was quite good, I recommend it to all fans of the 1632 series.
I've been playing Oblivion a lot lately. My mage character has risen to the top of the Mage's Guild and completed all but one of the Daedric Shrine quests. She's also still pretty early in the Main Quest, and hasn't ventured into Shivering Isles yet, although I intend to do so soon.
I think I may actually have her join every faction in the game. Thieves Guild and Dark Brotherhood, for sure.
I've also bought the first Ghost Recon game because it was like $10 and I haven't heard anything terrible about it. (It's the PC version, if it matters). I haven't played it yet, though, because of Oblivion.
I also purchased 1634: The Baltic War. It was quite good, I recommend it to all fans of the 1632 series.
Monday, April 30, 2007
WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
"Do you have any Wiis in stock?"
"Yeah."
"...Wait, what? Are you sure?"
"Yeah."
And that is how I got a Wii today.
It's so fun. My favorite so far is Boxing, but only because I absolutely beat the shit out of all my foes. I'm at 300 points already.
Golfing is my least-easiest game, but then, golfing doesn't involve laying the hurt down.
Bowling is alright, but the ball always has an annoying curve off to the left (offset by positioning myself a little to the right).
Baseball is alright, but I can't get the timing right yet and my one game was a tie. (Lousy game with no tiebreakers grumble grumble).
Tennis was alright. The best strategy there seems to be swing the Wiimote as hard and as fast as you can and pray. Though I'm sure I'll get better with practice.
I also bought Twilight Princess, but I'm too tired from beating the hell out of people for that tonight. Mom has expressed interest in playing, though.
My fitness age: 54
Mom's fitness age: 70
Once I get the Internet on it set up, I'll hook you all (hahaha) up with my Friend Code and shit.
"Yeah."
"...Wait, what? Are you sure?"
"Yeah."
And that is how I got a Wii today.
It's so fun. My favorite so far is Boxing, but only because I absolutely beat the shit out of all my foes. I'm at 300 points already.
Golfing is my least-easiest game, but then, golfing doesn't involve laying the hurt down.
Bowling is alright, but the ball always has an annoying curve off to the left (offset by positioning myself a little to the right).
Baseball is alright, but I can't get the timing right yet and my one game was a tie. (Lousy game with no tiebreakers grumble grumble).
Tennis was alright. The best strategy there seems to be swing the Wiimote as hard and as fast as you can and pray. Though I'm sure I'll get better with practice.
I also bought Twilight Princess, but I'm too tired from beating the hell out of people for that tonight. Mom has expressed interest in playing, though.
My fitness age: 54
Mom's fitness age: 70
Once I get the Internet on it set up, I'll hook you all (hahaha) up with my Friend Code and shit.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
This and that
So, I just finished Fluke, by Christopher Moore. I think he's fast becoming one of my favorite authors; I first discovered him while browsing through the discount books section of Amazon and saw Bloodsucking Fiends on sale. Well, I'm a sucker for vampire romance (unless it's crap).
Another curiously interesting thing is the webcomic Girly: http://www.go-girly.com/
I found it...somewhere. Wikipedia, I think. And it's basically my second-favorite webcomic currently (Questionable Content being the first: http://www.questionablecontent.net )
So, in Command and Conquer 3 news, I gave that first Sarajevo level a shot again. This time, I sent a few Riflemen in APCs up to where the backup gets pinned down by a turret and rocket dudes garrissoned in the nearby buildings. Well, upon arriving there early, I discover that the rocket dudes and the turret are nowhere to be found. I quickly garrison the buildings and gun down the rocket dudes as they arrive. The turret also falls swiftly to my sustained firing.
However, things fell apart when I tried to get the MCV back to base. It turns out enemies had also garrisonned buildings along the route back to base, and well, I got all exploded. Better luck next time, I guess.
I've also been playing Oblivion heavily lately. I love it when I wander into an Ayleid ruin, wonder, "Hm, where have I heard this place's name before?" and then discover that a vital component of the main quest is at the bottom of the place. Really, it's a testament to my own senility.
Another curiously interesting thing is the webcomic Girly: http://www.go-girly.com/
I found it...somewhere. Wikipedia, I think. And it's basically my second-favorite webcomic currently (Questionable Content being the first: http://www.questionablecontent.net )
So, in Command and Conquer 3 news, I gave that first Sarajevo level a shot again. This time, I sent a few Riflemen in APCs up to where the backup gets pinned down by a turret and rocket dudes garrissoned in the nearby buildings. Well, upon arriving there early, I discover that the rocket dudes and the turret are nowhere to be found. I quickly garrison the buildings and gun down the rocket dudes as they arrive. The turret also falls swiftly to my sustained firing.
However, things fell apart when I tried to get the MCV back to base. It turns out enemies had also garrisonned buildings along the route back to base, and well, I got all exploded. Better luck next time, I guess.
I've also been playing Oblivion heavily lately. I love it when I wander into an Ayleid ruin, wonder, "Hm, where have I heard this place's name before?" and then discover that a vital component of the main quest is at the bottom of the place. Really, it's a testament to my own senility.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Addendum
Contrary to what certain persons of a questionable faith believe, this blog is multi-topic (that is, not just video-game specific, but all inclusive as to what I dork out about).
Oh, and I forgot to mention, I totally want a .su domain name.
Oh, and I forgot to mention, I totally want a .su domain name.
Shtuff
So, I finished My Tank Is Fight (I loved the part where all the What Fight Have Been segments were all connected into this elaborate alternate history tale), and I'm back onto World War Z again. I may read the Douglas Adams book on nature I picked up at the bum store next.
From an interview with Doug Lombardi (http://games.kikizo.com/features/valve_hl2_interview_apr07_p1.asp):
"In Episode Two you'll find our more about G-Man and his relationship with Alyx."
I can't help but think of the scene in Office Space where Ron Livingston finds out that Jennifer Anniston slept with Lumburgh, and how his imagination went wild.
One of my pet hobbies is thinking about the Apocalypse of the Month. For April, it's the dying out of the bees: http://www.boingboing.net/2007/04/15/are_cellphones_killi.html
I, for one, long for the good ol' days when the only apocalypse you had to worry about was a massive nuclear exchange between the superpowers.
Oh, and some scientists are thinking about rebooting the Internet: http://www.livescience.com/technology/070413_ap_new_internet.html
I know that they're not going to actually format everything on the World Wide Web and stuff, but it's still an amusing thought.
From an interview with Doug Lombardi (http://games.kikizo.com/features/valve_hl2_interview_apr07_p1.asp):
"In Episode Two you'll find our more about G-Man and his relationship with Alyx."
I can't help but think of the scene in Office Space where Ron Livingston finds out that Jennifer Anniston slept with Lumburgh, and how his imagination went wild.
One of my pet hobbies is thinking about the Apocalypse of the Month. For April, it's the dying out of the bees: http://www.boingboing.net/2007/04/15/are_cellphones_killi.html
I, for one, long for the good ol' days when the only apocalypse you had to worry about was a massive nuclear exchange between the superpowers.
Oh, and some scientists are thinking about rebooting the Internet: http://www.livescience.com/technology/070413_ap_new_internet.html
I know that they're not going to actually format everything on the World Wide Web and stuff, but it's still an amusing thought.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Katamari Dissapointy
So, I finally played (and finished) the original Katamari Damacy the other day. It was quite disappointing next to We Love Katamari. One of the big features I was looking forward to were the Eternal levels, but I didn't realize that there were actually a finite number of objects which I could roll up, hence making the level completely worthless. The 'Make a Constellation' levels were also bland compared to the various special request levels in WLK (The Sumo level is one of my all-time favorites).
I also bought Knights of the Nine, but I haven't installed that yet (or played Oblivion in a while).
I also bought Knights of the Nine, but I haven't installed that yet (or played Oblivion in a while).
Friday, April 13, 2007
I'm all enthusiastic about Manhunt 2 now
From the new Rockstar newsletter:
"An experiment at a secret research facility has gone catastrophically wrong."
ZOMBIEEEEEES
"An experiment at a secret research facility has gone catastrophically wrong."
ZOMBIEEEEEES
Monday, April 9, 2007
In which I discuss stuff that isn't videogames. Mostly.
Well, I played Oblivion for several hours the other day and it didn't crash. I'm playing a mage character, and once I go through the Mage's Guild, I'll try out Shivering Isles.
So, I recently finished House of Leaves. I found the analytical nature of the primary story a bit too dry for my tastes, and the footnote tales of Johnny Truant were mostly not compelling to me. It was satisfying overall, but I probably won't read it again (especially since I intend to send it to my friend Doust).
24 has also once again failed to not be awesome. I totally called the not-death of Audrey, though. And I can't wait to see what the Chinese are up to.
One of my vices are cheesy disaster flicks. The other day, I watched some shitfest on the Sci-Fi channel starring Stephen Baldwin as he tries to prevent the moon from breaking in two (a condition caused by an asteroid plunking it, in a plot similar to one of my favorite novels, Moonfall). Anyway, it was a poor disaster film; none of the principal characters died, and there was only a relatively small amount of devestation. To be fair, though, they blew up Mexico City, one of the planet's most populous cities.
Anyway, I'm currently watching a flick called Deep Core. It was made in 2000, but it shares a lot of similarities with 10.5 and The Core. This is a good thing.
It also has lots of cheese, and cheese is an important ingredient in many disaster flicks. CHEESE!
So, I recently finished House of Leaves. I found the analytical nature of the primary story a bit too dry for my tastes, and the footnote tales of Johnny Truant were mostly not compelling to me. It was satisfying overall, but I probably won't read it again (especially since I intend to send it to my friend Doust).
24 has also once again failed to not be awesome. I totally called the not-death of Audrey, though. And I can't wait to see what the Chinese are up to.
One of my vices are cheesy disaster flicks. The other day, I watched some shitfest on the Sci-Fi channel starring Stephen Baldwin as he tries to prevent the moon from breaking in two (a condition caused by an asteroid plunking it, in a plot similar to one of my favorite novels, Moonfall). Anyway, it was a poor disaster film; none of the principal characters died, and there was only a relatively small amount of devestation. To be fair, though, they blew up Mexico City, one of the planet's most populous cities.
Anyway, I'm currently watching a flick called Deep Core. It was made in 2000, but it shares a lot of similarities with 10.5 and The Core. This is a good thing.
It also has lots of cheese, and cheese is an important ingredient in many disaster flicks. CHEESE!
Saturday, April 7, 2007
Happy Easter
So, I've been playing Deus Ex again. This is like my sixth or seventh time through, and I've been using Shifter 1.7.2, a mod I uberly recommend: http://yukichigai.googlepages.com/shifter
It's still incredibly fun sneaking through various enemy locales and rendering all my foes unconscious. In my next run, though (which I'll most likely start after finishing this time around), I'll go for maximum fatalities. Headshots, baby!
I may also play Deus Ex: Invisible War after I tire of the original. It may not be nearly as good as the first, but it's still quite fun in its own way.
In other gaming news:
I've installed Command and Conquer 3. Pluses: Quick pace -- missions take 15-30 minutes or so. Minuses: The missions don't have an epic feel, unlike Supreme Commander. Also, the game is fucking stingy with units. "Here's four rocket dudes, have fun taking out that enemy base!"
This is greatly amplified with the mission I'm currently stuck on. There's a power outage, causing my turrets to not be able to be on at all times, so I have to supplement certain areas of my base with troops until reinforcements arrive. But ohoho, tanks and rocket-launching bikes and dune buggies assail me constantly at the north and east points of the base.
And I'm talking half a dozen fucking units. (I can usually manage to put two or three anti-vehicular units in those spots at the most). And when reinforcements do arrive, I have to send out APCs staffed with rocket dudes that I can't afford to lose through enemy territory, past buildings that are also staffed with rocket dudes and which I cannot demolish without much wasted time, and destroy a turret which eats APCs for lunch. And then I have to escort the reinforcements back to base with my (now exploded) units, past the rocket-launching dudes garrissoned in the buildings, and watch as God laughs as my ultra-slow crucial unit gets blown to smithereens.
So yeah, it'll be a while before I pick that one up again.
I also installed Shivering Isles, the Oblivion expansion pack. I haven't played any of the new content yet, since my game now seems to crash my computer at the drop of a hat. Seriously, four or five times within the space of an hour. Fucking ridiculous.
It's still incredibly fun sneaking through various enemy locales and rendering all my foes unconscious. In my next run, though (which I'll most likely start after finishing this time around), I'll go for maximum fatalities. Headshots, baby!
I may also play Deus Ex: Invisible War after I tire of the original. It may not be nearly as good as the first, but it's still quite fun in its own way.
In other gaming news:
I've installed Command and Conquer 3. Pluses: Quick pace -- missions take 15-30 minutes or so. Minuses: The missions don't have an epic feel, unlike Supreme Commander. Also, the game is fucking stingy with units. "Here's four rocket dudes, have fun taking out that enemy base!"
This is greatly amplified with the mission I'm currently stuck on. There's a power outage, causing my turrets to not be able to be on at all times, so I have to supplement certain areas of my base with troops until reinforcements arrive. But ohoho, tanks and rocket-launching bikes and dune buggies assail me constantly at the north and east points of the base.
And I'm talking half a dozen fucking units. (I can usually manage to put two or three anti-vehicular units in those spots at the most). And when reinforcements do arrive, I have to send out APCs staffed with rocket dudes that I can't afford to lose through enemy territory, past buildings that are also staffed with rocket dudes and which I cannot demolish without much wasted time, and destroy a turret which eats APCs for lunch. And then I have to escort the reinforcements back to base with my (now exploded) units, past the rocket-launching dudes garrissoned in the buildings, and watch as God laughs as my ultra-slow crucial unit gets blown to smithereens.
So yeah, it'll be a while before I pick that one up again.
I also installed Shivering Isles, the Oblivion expansion pack. I haven't played any of the new content yet, since my game now seems to crash my computer at the drop of a hat. Seriously, four or five times within the space of an hour. Fucking ridiculous.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Hello!
So I guess this is the inaugural post of my videogame-themed blog which probably nobody but my friends will read.
(Note: Even though it's videogame-themed, I reserve the right to talk about whatever I damn well please).
To start off, I just finished Stalker. And the endings were pretty lame. Spoilers ahoy!
In one ending, your character makes a wish to be rich. This is quite amusing, since due to the game's broken economy, I already had nearly 200,000 rubles in my pocket. Then again, maybe Russia's economy crashed and all 200,000 rubles could buy is a box of sand or something, I don't know.
For the most part, though, Stalker was quite enjoyable. Rail guns, zombies, killing tons of dudes while bullets are flying all around me...a better time is hard found.
So, next up on my plate will either be Command and Conquer 3 or Shivering Isles, the Oblivion expansion. I'm looking forward to C&C3 because I was recently turned on to the world of RTS via Supreme Commander, and also my friend Kail introduced me to Kane, whom I'm looking forward to.
I'm more reluctant about Shivering Isles, since Oblivion is pretty poor compared to Morrowind. It's just so blatantly homogenized for the console. Not dumbed down, though, thankfully. Anyway, I am looking forward to becoming Vice Sheogorath or whatever, and meeting up with the Golden Saints again. I wonder if they still have uber souls...
(Note: Even though it's videogame-themed, I reserve the right to talk about whatever I damn well please).
To start off, I just finished Stalker. And the endings were pretty lame. Spoilers ahoy!
In one ending, your character makes a wish to be rich. This is quite amusing, since due to the game's broken economy, I already had nearly 200,000 rubles in my pocket. Then again, maybe Russia's economy crashed and all 200,000 rubles could buy is a box of sand or something, I don't know.
For the most part, though, Stalker was quite enjoyable. Rail guns, zombies, killing tons of dudes while bullets are flying all around me...a better time is hard found.
So, next up on my plate will either be Command and Conquer 3 or Shivering Isles, the Oblivion expansion. I'm looking forward to C&C3 because I was recently turned on to the world of RTS via Supreme Commander, and also my friend Kail introduced me to Kane, whom I'm looking forward to.
I'm more reluctant about Shivering Isles, since Oblivion is pretty poor compared to Morrowind. It's just so blatantly homogenized for the console. Not dumbed down, though, thankfully. Anyway, I am looking forward to becoming Vice Sheogorath or whatever, and meeting up with the Golden Saints again. I wonder if they still have uber souls...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)